Snowflakes in Hell

… if you find yourself saying any of these things.

Air gun, 200 dollars. Tin of 500 .177 caliber pellets, 7 dollars. 25 box of CO2 cartridges, 15 dollars. Being able to pop the ram between each of these sentences, priceless!

Target Rich Environment points out a piece of real estate any gun nut would love.  I’ll be in the market for a new house in a few years, but sadly not right now.

… when you go to clean the lint out of your dryer screen and notice an empty .22LR casing.  Bonus gun nutty points if you notice how clean it came out, and think maybe you should tumble some more of your brass through the laundry.

… when you have a burn the exact size and shape of a .22LR casing, including the rim, from where the casing ejected into your shirt while you were shooting little metal animal shapes.  I figured that one was going to leave a mark.

I think it’ll have to happen, at some point.

You know your a gun nut when your realtor tells you that you need to remove some “clutter” from your fridge, in order not to scare potential buyers.

Last night I had one of those gun nut moments as I moved an empty PSL magazine and a Soviet PSO-1 scope from my table to make room for the laptop.   BTW, if anyone knows how to make fine adjustments on that scope for zeroing, I’d be most appreciative.  The manual for it is in Cyrillic.

… when your girlfriend is borrowing guns from you. The conversation goes something like this:

Me: “We’re going to meet a couple of other bloggers at Geno’s in Philly. It’s been a long time since I’ve been there. Used to be an ok neighborhood. There was a shooting nearby not too long ago, so I don’t know about now. If parking is tight, we may have to walk a bit.”

Bitter: “I’m leaving straight from the district once work lets out, so I won’t have a gun.”

Me: “Well, if you want, you can borrow my Makarov.”

Bitter: “OK, I’ll do that.”

And that she did, but it’s still an OK neighborhood. I hardly ever carry a backup gun, but it is kind of cool to have a backup girlfriend :)

… when you resort to trying bore cleaner and hoppes number 9 to remove dry erase marker from your kegerator.  I was finding the center line to drill last night, so I tried to mark center line with dry erase marker.  I tested an area with it before I marked, but I wiped it off before it really dried.   Once it dried, it refused to come off.   I tried alcohol, nail polish remover, bleach, you name it.   Eventually I got the idea of trying hoppes number 9, and some Smith & Wesson bore cleaner.   Neither really worked.

What did work was lava liquid soap, mixed with some alcohol.   It was enough of a mix between abrasive and solvent to get the job done.  Hoppes is great stuff for cleaning guns, but for getting dry erase marker off a surface that wasn’t meant for it, not so good.

…when the President of the NRA hugs your girlfriend when she sees her.

You know you’re a gun nut when, for the first time in a few months, you use your oven, not a cook a roast or a turkey, but to heat up some parts from your AK-74 so they’ll dry out after you gave it a nice bath in warm soapy water to wash out all the corrosive primer residue that built up on it after a day’s shooting.

I’m about 1/3rd through my batch of the corrosive stuff.  I might take the other tin that was in the crate and reserve it, and bring it out sometime when I’m either short of 5.45×39 or nostalgic.  The good thing about corrosive primed ammo is that it lasts forever.  Non-corrosive primers have a shorter shelf life.

You know you’re a gun nut when you read about Blues Traveler’s John Popper getting arrested for doing 110MPH with load of guns and marijuana in his car, see the media spread on the police table and think, “I can do better than that.”

Of course, I won’t be doing 110 down the highway, nor will I have any controlled substances in my vehicle either, and I don’t have a nice gun case built into the back of my vehicle. But seriously, considering what I’m taking to Texas, my police table spread will look far more impressive than this if I got pulled over, searched, and hauled in for questioning.

… You find yourself using SHTF (Shit Hits the Fan) with non-gun nuts, and are shocked they have no idea what it means.

… when it’s snowy out and you realize that you forgot your ice scraper and the only thing you can find in your car that can remotely scrape ice from windows is a spare AR-15 magazine. It works too!  Not that well, but in a pinch it’ll do.