Snowflakes in Hell

Cracked.com takes a look, but are relatively ignorant on the firearms issues.  It’s meant to be funny, and it is.  I think they are largely right on the bear gun; it’s a silly marketing gimmick.  But they don’t make fun of the right thing with the underwear holster, and disarming techniques are actually taught to police, the funny thing there is that someone would learn them by reading a book.  That’s one of those things I’d prefer to be taught in a class.  It could have been funnier if the folks writing it had more experience with guns than what you see in the movies.

From a commenter, describing why 80% of the folding knives would be banned, over on Dave Kopel’s post on the proposed switchblade regulations:

Most modern folding knives have a finger thing that goes up.

A humourous reference to Carolyn McCarthy, speaking about the “shoulder thing that goes up” that she wanted to ban on guns.

A few of our club’s air gun shooters headed down to Winnsboro, Louisiana last week to take part in the Southern Nationals, and we were very happy to have Dave Carpenter (known as “Limey” to the locals there, because he is one), who runs much of our Silhouette program, come back with a trophy:

It says undernealth “Pat Steiger Memorial Bullshit Award.”  And yes folks, that’s 100% real, gilded bullshit mounted on top of that trophy.  I think it might even still smell a little.

The Chinese have quarentined Ray Nagin, Mayor of New Orleans, and responsible for the Great Katrina Gun Grab.  Apparently some people on his flight came down with the swine flu.  Karma’s a bitch, ain’t it?

At a gun shop somewhere in Pennsylvania.  Maybe they are trying to create a better investment.

We now have a “Don’t Tase Me Bro” Automata.  I wonder if they could get NEA funding for this?

Someone on gunbroker is selling a single round of .45ACP.   Take a scroll down to the description.  It’s pretty hilarious.  Preserved here in case they take it offline:

Offered for your consideration is one round (not one case or one box but one single round) of genuine .45 ACP ammunition. This is something rarely seen (at least since November 4th) and is hard to find at any price. The round of ammo includes a real brass casing; one full metal jacket bullet weighing 230 grains; a generous amount of hard-to-obtain gunpowder; and one nearly impossible to locate primer. Yes, you read that correctly. This round of ammo actually comes fully equipped with a real primer! Just try finding one of those! Imagine the thrill of actually being able to shoot your gun for a change. You will be the talk of the neighborhood when news gets around that you actually fired your pistol with your round of ammo. You may want to keep your round of ammo as an investment as prices are sure to keep rising. Just think of the confidence you will feel when you walk around with your round of ammo in your shirt pocket (Barney Fife was 50 years ahead of his time). Every man will want to be you and every woman will want to be with you when they learn that you possess a round of ammo. Your neighbor with the van Gogh painting will die of envy when he learns that you have obtained a genuine round of ammo. Playboy models will beat a path to your door when they hear the news! This is an opportunity which may never come around again. Act now and make your bid. Don’t let this one get away! Starting price is a ridiculously low one thousand two hundred and fifty dollars with NO RESERVE! Payment by money order only. Please add $5 for insured shipping within the Continental United States (additional charge to AK and HI). Sold as is, no returns. Please include a signed affidavit swearing that you did not vote for Barack Obama or your payment will be returned and the item will be relisted. Added: I have received requests to post a photo of the primer to prove it’s actually present. I have added the photo. You can also see the round of ammo appears to be a military contract round with the primer sealed in place and the headstamp date 1985.

It wouldn’t be so funny if there wasn’t a grain of truth to it.

Via SayUncle

What about the complete and utter failures?

Here’s your creepy Easter Bunny video of the day.

Folks, this is New Jersey at is very very best:

This is some creative wishful photoshopping.  Unfortunately, I think the butt of the joke is dead serious.

To be honest, what’s showing here probably kills more people every year than so called assault weapons do.

We’re happy that Barack Obama’s teleprompter is busy looking out for his Attorney General.

Won’t someone think of Babar the Elephant?  VPC Warns us about the 30 caliber menace.

Check out the Barack Obama’s Teleprompter’s Blog.  Tagline “Reflections from the hard drive of the machine that enables the voice of the Leader of the Free World.”  Funny stuff.

Well, we knew that Governor Corzine frowns upon the use of certain restraints, but we had no idea his office also required him to frown upon other types as well, at least those uses which are not “manifestly appropriate.”

Marko comments on his Search Term Safari, to the term “Guns are impersonal and knives are more intimate”:

Well, if you want to have a close and meaningful relationship with your attacker, then you should probably forego the gun and carry a knife.  Me, I want a self-defense event to be as impersonal as possible.  Click, boom, cleanup in Aisle Five. Nothing personal, no hard feelings–just rejecting an unacceptably termed business proposition.

From this Washington Times article:

Mr. Barnett’s dog barked at several of the women and he yelled at them in Spanish, “My dog is hungry and he’s hungry for buttocks.”

If the allegation is true, it is hilarious.  We’re happy Dave Hardy managed to get a mostly positive verdict for Mr. Barnett.  But regardless, I’ll be giggling over this quote for some time.

Today’s Dilbert:

More here.

This is hilarious:

Once upon a time, there was a little State called New York.  And in this land lived a lot of witches. One day the biggest witch, Hillary Clinton announced that she was leaving and going to the White House where she could personally service the King.  That left another witch happy and wringing her hands. “Surely without Hillary I am now the fairest of all the New York reps” thought witch McCarthy.  So she went to her magic mirror and prayed, “mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest New York Congress critter of them all?” As she sat there in glee waiting for the expected answer, she was almost knocked to the floor when Chucky Schumer appeared in the mirror and pronounced “why it is representative Kirsten Gillibrand of course!”

It just gets better from there.

… that’s funny right there.

Sandcastle Scrolls has an idea of what our theme song needs to be for the next four years.

The Newbie Shooter is now officially southern.

We’ve talked about Jerry Patterson, the Texas Land Comissioner, before.  This time he’s taking a dim view of running for U.S. Senate if Kay Bailey Hutchinson runs for Governer:

“Just like Johnny Cash, I’d definitely take my guns to town,” Patterson said. “Living in D.C. would be tough only because of the lack of gun ranges and available ammunition.”

Paraphrasing his quote from a recent West Texas land controversy, Patterson added “No guns, no hunting, no Senate.”

That is perhaps the best reason I have ever heard from a politician for not running for an office.  Read the whole thing.  It’s a hoot.

Hopefully this will make you guys crack a smile.  It’s cheesy, but it’s an amusing take on the shoe throwing incident of 2008.